Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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