I wish you could order shots online.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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