i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
