UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
