i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
