i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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