They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
