she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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