i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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