yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
