Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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