Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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