I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
