I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
