her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Pappa wants mamma naked
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize