I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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