I met the friendliest cop last night
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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