I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
