I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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