I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
