worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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