So drunk its hurt
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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