dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
