So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Houston, we have a squirter
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
