I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
