I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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