hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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