I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize