We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
