the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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