a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
