I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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