Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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