Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
