Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

How bad was it?

(1-713): View more from Texas

You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth

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(972): View more from Texas

**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

This is why we're friends.

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(773): View more from Illinois

What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?

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(705): View more from Ontario

Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though

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