you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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