too bad you live with your parents still
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
