Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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