Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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