i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
