no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
