there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
