i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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