my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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