Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
