Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
im holly from the hills drunk
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
