dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
