Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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