For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
