Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
