So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
