i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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