she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
