so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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