So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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